Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I am thinking about a momma who is laying as close as she can to her little boy. He is only 4. About 60 days ago, they found out he was sick. Their whole world had to stop. We prayed, we cried, we fasted, we thought good thoughts, but it seems that today may be the day he will finally be at rest.
I am not at rest at all. I am beside myself with tears that are hot and will not go away. I mean - they stop. I gather myself and compose myself - only to have them return. I just can't imagine the pain. I just can't wrap my head around the hurt and loss.
I have faith, I had faith and I will continue to believe, but I can not understand. I know that we are not meant to understand it all, but this? Ugh.
I am turning to my blog to just write.
My heart is heavy.
To come and let out a big SCREAMMMMMMMM!
To be angry.