Wednesday, May 30, 2007

LOVE/HATE With the Senses

the Sight of my children when they are sleeping.
No not because they are quiet and out of trouble, but because they look so utterly content.
the Sight of the ocean before me with its white capped waves.
the Sight when you drive around a bend and come upon a great valley, mountain or lake beyond you.
the Smell of coffee, baby, clean laundry, my husband, new crayons
the Taste of coffee, well-seasoned fresh food, tropical ice-tea
the Feel of ocean sand between my toes, holding hands with someone I love, the sun on my face
the Sound of my almost 2 year old singing and talking, good music, quiet, birds chirping in the early morning, hearing that I am loved by my family, my husband complimenting me in any way

the Sight of abuse/suffering on t.v. or IRL, clutter and disarray, ugly lawns
the Smell of skunk, heavy powdery or floral scents, menudo, tar
the Taste of anything overcooked or under seasoned/dry
the Feel you get when the "cry" is stuck in your throat, the sudden pain in your stomach when you think someone you love is hurt, of paper cuts
the Sound of chaos, complaining, fuzzy radio stations, babies or toddlers crying relentlessly

I feel pregnant!

So, I am realllllllly feeling pregnant now. I mean, I guess I should. After all, I am at week 32! The problem is that I am the type of person that has a schedule. Places to go, people to see, things to do. You get the idea. You may be thinking that of course I have a schedule - doesn't everybody? NO. I have friends who just seem to go with the wind. Really. They even have families, yet they just kinda go through life not knowing what they will be doing next. Fine for them - not for me.
Anyhow, being this pregnant has really slowed down my schedule. I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin! I will do a few things and then gravitate to a chair to sit. I probably should even be napping and can not allow myself the luxury. This is bad. This will be baby #4 and you would think that by now I would've learned to slow down. Again, NO. I have a TO DO list that I need to accomplish before the baby comes. I just don't know when and how I will get it done. Maybe since I am not sleeping that well at night anyway, I can squeeze in a couple hours while everyone is sleeping... Oh, dang! I can hardly lift anything that needs to be lifted. Oh well, just thought I'd vent a little.