Monday, October 4, 2010
What is my purpose???
So...I've been thinking a lot about PURPOSE. What is my purpose in life? Merriam-Webster says: Purpose - something set up as an object or end to be obtained. What end do I want to obtain? Some of the synonyms listed for the word purpose were: goal, intention, dream, plan and objective.
Do I have goals, intentions, dreams, plans or objectives? Of course I do. I have dreams for myself, my family, my children, my church. I have intentions...lots of good ones too. haha I have goals (especially with weight loss and physical health), and of course I've got plans and objectives. Oh, how I plan. Always making lists, drawing up ideas and things "to do"...
I realised that this was not getting me anywhere closer to knowing what MY purpose in life was. There were so many "ends" that I wanted to obtain. As a Christian woman, Pastor's wife, and mother of four beautiful children...I wondered if my purpose was just to give to everyone for the rest of my life - to serve others. That's not so bad, and honestly I don't mind it. I love it and am happy to do it. It brings me joy. But at the risk of sounding selfish...What about ME? Do I just forget about the other things that bring me joy? Things like my art, reading, writing, being alone to just "be"... Dreams of really finding the "real me"? I was getting more and more confused. What do I do when I'm confused?
I go to my Life's Handbook...the Bible. =)
I found that God has a purpose for me. Jeremiah 29:11~For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Wow. That takes some of the worry out of it. So I continue to seek it out further. Then I find this: Psalm 138:8~The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever — do not abandon the works of your hands.
I was doing a study shortly after this about loving God. Mark 12:30 says: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. The first commandment! Must be important!
I've also done studies on different women of the Bible and how their lives had a role in history. I found that they were all of different ages, social status, some were mothers, some were widows, some were queens... But they all fulfilled a purpose for Him. I look at godly women that I know and consider to be mentors, whether I know them in real life or from studying the books or articles they've written, I find myself trying to keep up with them or trying to mother my children like other Christian mothers. I find myself trying to be the kind of Pastor's wife that I think my congregation would want me to be and all becomes so daunting.
You know what? I have it all wrong! My purpose is not to be a perfect mother, sister, wife, leader...whatever! My purpose in life - the reason I was put on earth - is to please GOD!! If I strive to please God daily, everything else will fall into place! I have no business trying to please everyone else in this world, if I haven't first pleased God. My God made me to be a caring, loving, giving person - but to balance it out - He also made me creative, a lover of art and knowledge, needing time to myself... I want more in life - always. It's okay! As long as I can do what I do and still please God, I am fulfilling my purpose. I was made to worship Him, to love Him, to honor Him and share Him with others.
I am so thankful that I know that now. Most of all, I believe that God is pleased when I live an AUTHENTIC LIFE. That is my desire and I believe that it will please Him. That's enough.